$5 for a girlfriend.

So with today being Valentine's Day, I'm thinking many people might have been a bit lonely, but how lonely do you have to be to hire a girlfriend for the day? 

I personally have had a lovely day. Those that read yesterday's post, will know I had an epiphany. So today, despite being single, I wined and dined with two men (who also happened to be two of my close friends) and had flowers and chocolates bought for me. So I'll conclude the day by saying, although Valentine's Day is over for another year, it doesn't mean you have to stop showing the people you love, that you love them.

For some however, being in a relationship seemed the be all and end all. If they were single they were depressed, if they were in a relationship they had to tell the whole world about it, posting photos of their gifts. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were trying to convince themselves ... 

How far would you go to be in a relationship on Valentine's Day?

It became clear some would go very far when I was pretty shocked to see that a guy had paid a girl on Facebook to be 'his girlfriend'  ... 

Well I say girlfriend but what I really mean is that he paid $5 to be 'in a relationship' for a week ...

I've heard of people hiring escorts, it's an age old tradition that still happens today, most recently in the 'Lewis the con man saga' in Coronation Street and in the film The Wedding Date. In these cases, at least you're getting a service; they attend  events with you and a lot of the time, people are paying for the company, but this guy literally just wanted his friends and family to think that he had a girlfriend.

I have to say, it was good value for money. For $5, 'Sophia', as she calls herself, gives you a package deal... 

- A week of being 'in a relationship' status with her

- A few status comments 

- A few 'likes'

Not much I guess ... but enough to start the gossip running through the grape vine. 

The 'online escort' doesn't take her role too seriously but the way she said, 'It's not a big deal really' hit the nail on the head: Facebook means absolutely nothing.

So why the need to lie to people? I have to say this story disappointed me; it really devalues the idea of a relationship. I'm not a Romantic, quite the opposite in fact, but this just makes a mockery of the whole idea. If Facebook is that official, it made me question what honestly is a relationship and what makes it 'Facebook Official'? 

The possibilities with social networking are becoming endless. You can be whoever you want to be to on line 'friends' but if you can't be yourself with them and they can't accept you for who you are, are they really your friends? 

As a Facebook user myself, I enjoy the social aspect of it and I have never been subject to any of the horror stories you hear about. I don't accept people I don't know, I don't broadcast my whole life on there, and if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't feel the need to tell everyone about it straight away. Facebook is cheap and meaningless. 

As a generation, I think we need to be very careful ... before long people could be having virtual 'marriages' with people they have never even met.

A single moment in time.

So because I'm so dedicated to my job, this evening has been spent making the best 'love' playlist ever, in preparation for Valentine's day at work tomorrow; a playlist that money truly couldn't buy. 

It started out quite a tedious task, going through my iTunes hand picking all the most depressing songs for a singleton, but then I broadened my horizons, moving to the family CD collections, and as a result I have ended up with an eight hour playlist including anything from Plan B to Barry White ... what can I say, I hate to be predictable and I'm a crowd pleaser ...

More importantly however, this evening has meant listening to some of the greatest songs ever written (and some of the worst) with my Mum. We've been through a lot together, good and bad, and I owe her so much. Tonight we've rediscovered songs that have made up the soundtrack to our lives. 

It never fails to amaze me how a song can take you back to a single, frozen moment.  A moment that can never be recreated but remains untouched by time, untarnished by any memories before or after, a moment that is simply golden. The lyrics mean so much, the melody becomes so fitting ... our experiences define us, and these songs define our experiences. 

Tonight's evoked so many memories ... 

Many hilarious such as when my best friend got disastrously drunk and played this to a certain guy on her 18th Birthday in front of all of her friends and family ...

Many school memories which at the time, I didn't think I'd ever miss ...

Many memories a lot older, involving people who I unfortunately don't get to see much these days, but again, the memories remain and that's enough ...

And also many family memories. 

This in particular creates an overwhelming amount of emotions, but no matter what's happened and whatever happens in the future, I will always have these to hold dear. 

I've always been a Valentine's Day cynic but after something so simple jogging my memory, I know I'll never spend it alone and I have all the people in my life who I need. 

Thank you to my family and friends for simply being who they are, and thank you to all the musicians who although don't know it, have touched my life. 

The end of school packed lunches?

Over the last couple of days there has been a call from ministers to ban packed lunches completely in schools.

This call came in response to ideas that unhealthy packed lunches are contributing to obesity in children and hopes to stop children snacking on chocolate and fizzy drinks. This would effectively force parents to pay for school meals daily for their children ... 

Throughout my time at school, my two brothers and I, had packed lunches. Every day our lunches would consist of a bottle of water or squash, a sandwich, a packet of crisps, sometimes a chocolate bar if we were lucky (and they were on offer at Tesco that week), but more often than not, a piece of fruit my Mother would ambitiously slip in, in the hope it wouldn't still be in the lunch box when we returned home. 

I was lucky enough to have a Mother who made lunch for me every single day. I know not every child has this privilege but restricting packed lunches is not going to stop children from binging on chocolate and fizzy drinks; they'll simply do it when they get home. After a certain age, although parents still have a say in what their child eats, they can no longer control it. If you have your own money, you can potentially eat what you want, when you want. It's a right of passage, one of the first things you have control over in your life and every child undoubtedly kicks against health to begin with.

60% of children take a packed lunch to school; with such a large proportion why aren't the government questioning why so many people don't take up school dinners? 

When I started secondary school, it was at the time of Jamie Oliver's Healthy School Dinners campaigns, thus the vending machines soon disappeared from my canteen, to everyone's horror. My canteen was already quite healthy though, it didn't need a publicity stunt from an arrogant TV chef to prompt them to look after their students. 

I don't know what honestly went into the food (and in light of the horse meat scandal who ever really knows?) but I do remember that fast food was not a permanent feature. Fish and Chips were on the menu once a week only. Throughout the rest of the week there was a variety of meals on offer: curries, roasts, pasta, jacket potatoes, and there was always a range of baguettes and paninis. There was nothing wrong with these meals, they were perfectly edible and they were far from the horror stories my grandparents and parents had told me about, but I didn't eat them through choice. To be honest, I quite liked sandwiches and a full meal at lunch was a bit heavy when I knew there was always a freshly cooked meal for me at home in the evening. 

Again not everybody has this privilege but this is what society has created and I fear it may be too late to change a large majority's ways. Fast food restaurants, the abundance of take away services, and most notably ready meals are the cause of obesity in children in Britain, not school packed lunches. In the same report, ministers also called for compulsory cookery lessons in schools ... not a bad idea, but it's not that people don't know how to cook, it's that they don't want to know. Society has bred parents who are too lazy to cook for their children when there are so many other options readily available and similarly, children don't want healthy meals when they could have a McDonalds. There was a time when children were seen and not heard, but today children have so many opinions and rights, and what's worse is that they know their rights as well. It's not child abuse to make your child eat their vegetables ... I have to say I've had many a meal that I wasn't particularly keen on but I've sat there and eaten it because I was hungry enough, and my Mother didn't pander to my tantrums from a young age. It never did me any harm ...

What concerns me most about this however is the price. I vaguely remember the price of my school canteen meals being around £3 per meal. Alone, this doesn't sound so bad but per week this would be £15 per child ... 

Now, I'm one of three children, so this would mean £45 a week on school dinners. Over the course of the 40 weeks spent in school a year, a family such as mine with three children, would therefore be paying out £1,800 a year ... this prospect quite frankly disgusts me and I can categorically say a family such as my own would not be able to afford this. 

Unless the government are going to come up with funding to provide these meals free, children will simply go without. Going without anything to eat at all will start an even more worrying downward spiral in terms of children's health. This campaign is being  supported by Henry Dimbleby, an owner of a chain of restaurants. It's very easy for a wealthy bystander to stand on the outside looking in, and preach about health and judge other people's parenting.

Nobody has a right to dictate to parents how to bring up their children and in my opinion it will never work.

This idea is simply targeting decent working class families who don't qualify for government handouts. I can only be thankful that my family have not been subjected to these unfair pressures.

Worthy Winners

I was so happy to hear some of my favourite artists cleared up at The Grammy Awards last night, most notably Mumford and Sons picking up album of the year with Babel. 

Their award was proudly presented by Adele, who looked beautiful following the birth of her baby last year; she also won best pop solo performance:

Mumford and Sons were justly nominated for six other awards, including best song written for visual imagery, best rock performance and best rock song, but the other award they received was for best long form music video: 

It makes me incredibly happy to see British acts doing so well in America; they are representative of the truly 'Great' British music scene. Both Mumford and Adele are raw talents; they play their own instruments, write their own songs and can only perform live, miming is against everything they stand for. They were humble and grateful for all their support last night, but they are deserving of all their achievements.

Now, I've watched the Brits every year for as long as I can remember and genuinely look forward to it, but after looking at some of the forthcoming nominations, I felt slightly let down by the abundance of pop. However, it was refreshing to see the likes of Nicki Minaj and One Direction to be completely snubbed from the nominations at The Grammys and great bands and real artists taking centre stage for once. 

Although British artists won a number of awards there was stiff competition from American artists and I was equally happy to see The Black Keys receiving four out of the six awards they were short listed for: best rock song, best rock performance, best rock album and lead singer David Auerbach received non-classical producer of the year. 

Good Luck to Mumford next week though, with two gongs under their belt, they would be worthy winners of the three Brits they are also nominated for. 

'Jaffa Bakes'?

This is it. I'm putting the 85 year debate to bed ...

I'm saddened to confirm, that Jaffa Cakes ... are scientifically 'cakes'. 

Following a feeble attempt to finish a three foot long tube of them I got for Christmas and allowing them to go out of date, I now have empirical evidence to prove their 'cake' classification. 

Based on their name, this may sound like a ridiculous argument to some, primarily those who have a life, but I'll have you know, this is incredibly controversial and has been an on going debate amongst friends and family for years. 

In my opinion they were biscuits. They are the size of a biscuit, they look like a biscuit, and you wouldn't eat 6 or 7 'cakes' in one go, Jaffa Cakes however, like biscuits you quite easily fire down one after the other. 

However, it was often said Jaffa Cakes weren't hard enough to be classed as a biscuit given their sponge base, you can't dunk them in tea (tried and tested) and the integral difference when they go stale (cakes go hard/biscuits go soft) defines them.

Up until today, no Jaffa Cakes had ever been in the cupboard long enough to go stale, but  72 Jaffa Cakes proved a challenge for one person given the array of other Christmas food hanging around for weeks. For the record, I don't make a habit of eating out of date food, but on this occassion, there was scientific intent and I had a major craving for chocolate; I had no choice, it was for the good of Mankind ... 

From my experiment, I found my Jaffa Cakes went hard thus we can conclude that they are scientifically cakes. 

This debate was so important that in 1991, McVities actually went to court to prove their cake status for VAT purposes. Apparently, companies don't have to pay VAT on chocolate covered cakes but they do on chocolate covered biscuits ... weird I know. 

Despite this valid new piece of research however, I'm willing to believe it is an anomalous result and disagree with McVities. Until further evidence is brought forward, I'm proposing a 'bake' status.

'Jaffa Bakes': a biscuit type snack with a cake texture ... Sorted.

Feeding Time at the Zoo.



Welcome to the zoo.
 

There's free admission to the chimps tea party, the buffaloes at the watering hole and you might even catch a live cat fight if you're lucky.

 

That's right ... McDonalds.

 

I'm not a regular inhabitant but I have to confess I am, understandably, partial to a Chicken Legend or a McFlurry from time to time. Living 5 minutes from the drive-thru, I tend to go in on the sly and retain some street cred' but today, for time and convenience, I decided to have a nice sit down meal on my lunch break ...
 

I'm still in shock.
 

There were children throwing food around like monkeys, men face planting into Big Macs, women practically rugby tackling other women in the queues to get there first ... they were even sacrificing their toddlers in a desperate bid to get a table.
 

Just when we thought we'd escaped, we walked into the hyena's lurking upstairs ... the teenagers. If they weren't intimidating customers they were running across tables, shouting, messing around, if I didn't know any better I'd have mistaken it for a creche. It's not like they were even eating, they were just laid all over the place in their tracksuit bottoms and hoods and that's not excluding the girls. There they all were, caked in make-up an inch thick, deludedly trailing around after the 'cool bad' boys all day; get a life kid ... or a  job, either would be a good start.
 

I mean I know it's a fast food restaurant but there really should be some kind of warning outside before innocent people stroll into this warzone; it was an incredibly traumatic experience ...
 

Jokes aside, it was more of a worrying experience of what life to come could be like. Grown adults were behaving like savages and it is them who have set the example to their children. It appears to be a generation of laziness and ill manners, living by the mantra 'every man for himself'. When you can't sit in your local McDonalds without feeling uncomfortable, you know you've got problems ...

My Music Prophecies for 2013.

So towards the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013, the BBC put together a list of up and coming artists who they think will break through onto the music scene this year. Generally, these artists have released something great the previous year but they just  didn't manage to break through all the utter garbage in the pop chart. Being short listed gives them the kind of recognition they need to help them on their way to success. Last year the BBC's predictions were correct with the likes of Michael Kiwanuka and Frank Ocean. 

Sounds of 2013 this year were: 

1# HAIM

2# Aluna George

3# Angel Haze

4# Laura Mvula

5# Chvrches

 

Aluna George and Laura Mvula have also been nominated  for the critics choice award at the Brits in a couple of weeks but the BBC failed to recognise the other nominee Tom Odell who has already released his debut single. Bearing in mind previous winners of the Critics Choice Award: Adele, Florence and the Machine, Ellie Goulding, Emeli Sande ... let's just say the nominees for this category are generally pretty spot on. As for the long list however, I felt there were much more interesting artists who will be popular this year.

 

So here's all those you need to keep your eyes peeled for ... 

 

Hopefully, most of you will have heard of them at some point last year, maybe on Radio 1's Big Thing, Later ... with Jools Holland, Abbey Road Studios or some acoustic set, but this year, expect great things ...

Tom Odell

Singer-Song writer, debut single out now and in the running for the Brit Critics Choice Award.

Kodaline 

I could not love this band any more. I loved their single All I want last year and the heart warming narrative video that went with it, it could have been a one hit wonder but based on this, their album will be great. 

Little Green Cars 

An Irish band who will fit perfectly in style besides The Maccabees or the Mystery Jets and with lead vocals resembling that of REM ... interesting combination.

Palma Violets

Great live, typically Indie band, and on the same label as The Strokes and The Libertines ... enough said.

Peace

Far from peaceful with their Two Door Cinema style compositions and eccentric, eighties style.