'You are one ... sick ... puppy!'
'I carried a watermelon.'
'Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, Madam.'
What would you say or think, if I said any one of these lines to you?
If you wouldn't continue with the lines or start singing the theme tune, you need to get yourself to Blockbuster or online to Netflix, right now.
Those of you that are educated, will realise that I am of course talking about those classic eighties films that you probably only have on video as they're so old.
You know the ones. The ones that are gathering dust in the loft. The ones that are only televised on Sky's retro channels. The ones that you can pick up in Tescos for a mere £2.
The ones that I for one, am still watching to this day, despite the fact I wasn't even born when they were released.
I can't get enough of them; the cheesy soundtrack, the simplistic special effects, even the cliche story lines. Despite all of this I watch them over and over again and never get bored. They are simply timeless.
There's nothing I love more than a good British film but thirty years ago, my allegiance lies with Hollywood. With all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood today however, it is easy to overlook these films. There isn't a trace of CGI, the graphics aren't great and there are no epic battle scenes put in merely to show off what the movie makers can do, but they're human. There's an authenticity in the graininess of the colour. There's no unnatural, dramatic techniques, just pure film, with great actors portraying real emotions; it's raw.
So here's my top five eighties films which hold valuable spots in my heart.
It's the classic coming of age tale and holiday romance, with innocent 16-year-old Baby falling in love with bad boy, Johnny. They both learn valuable life lessons from each other, and the film tackles real dilemmas that touch everybody in one way or another, as we grow up. The sixties soundtrack is amazing and although this isn't upheld throughout the whole film with the slip into eighties pop with Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes's Time of my Life, it merely adds to the authenticity of the film. It is typically eighties; cheesy one liners, inconsistencies, predictable endings, but it's everything we love; the classic chick flick.
This has been a favourite in my family forever. Uncle Buck is an uncle that you'd never trust with your children, but the uncle that every child wants. He has a go at your teachers, makes man-sized pancakes, utterly trashes the house, tortures your boyfriend when he screws you over; he's a legend. It's not just full of laughs however, the ending almost brings a tear to your eye as Uncle Buck teaches the children a thing or two and indeed learns a few things himself as he finds mutual ground with his estranged family.
'Heyyyyyyy youuuuuuuu guyssssssss!'
Fantasy. It takes a lot to win me over with this genre with the exception of Harry Potter of course, but this adventure film took no time at all. The hunt for treasure is not only a classic childhood past time, but for one of the main characters Mikey, a misguided hope that finding the treasure will provide his family with enough money not to lose their home, forcing him to leave his gang. There's good guys, there's bad guys, there's action, there's treasure, there's even a flying ship into the sunset. For me however, what makes it, is the characters. Each one stands alone, with individual personality, and you can timelessly assign your friends to characters of the film. However, just in case you're wondering, as nice as Baby Ruths look in the film, I went in search of one in America, and they are nice, but Snickers are better.
Many will know Kim Catrell as sex crazed Samantha in Sex and the City, but Mannequin sees a very young, innocent Catrell alongside eighties star Andrew McCarthy. I don't know about you, but mannequins in store windows always completely and utterly freak me out, thus when Catrell plays a mannequin who comes to life in a department store, it was initially alarming. It sounds ridiculous but it's a great love story, with humour from the rubbish security guard on a mission to expose his secret and the camp shop assistant. There's even a life and death conclusion when Catrell is thrown into a shredder. Thankfully the machine is stopped before the massacre, and they unsurprisingly live happily-ever-after.
I think I would have been mobbed if I hadn't included this film. I'm not really into sci-fi but who honestly didn't fall in love with E.T. He's the most adorable alien I've ever seen and I would have befriended him too. Their friendship is truly unbreakable as the film shows, and to have viewers crying over an alien is genius. It is one of Spielberg's finest moments.
Over thirty years later, we are watching these classics and this is just a handful. Don't get me started on the nineties, Sister Act, Pretty Woman ... I could go on. It got me thinking though what, if any, film from my generation will still be watched in thirty years time ... Love Actually? Harry Potter? Maybe ... but I will be educating my children with what my parents have educated me with for sure.
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